Weird News: Meet the Super Hamptons; Dog Poop Tempers Flare

As a local news organization, Patch covers stories of all kinds, from heartbreaking tragedies to inspiring tales of community brotherhood. But some stories are just plain weird. Here are some of the stranger headlines from the past seven days.

Is the Hamptons not upscale enough for you? Well, you're in luck, because now there's the Super Hamptons, suspended 2,000 feet in the air about the regular Hamptons.

As a regular visitor puts it, “You know, with all these uprisings and class warfare, Wall Streets being occupied and ObamaCares, it’s nice to know there’s a place out there where like-minded wealthy individuals like us can just get together and hang out. It’s nice to know there’s a place where I can order gold flakes on my ice cream without people staring at me.”

And wait until your find out who "the help" are, since regular people can't afford to live there: “They’re simply priced out. In the regular Hamptons, our waiter might be able to find a nice cozy little sublet inland somewhere, but in the Super Hamptons, she wouldn’t even be able to afford a glass of water.”

In fact, it's just a fallacy that is the basis of a sketch at the Upright Citizens Bridge Theater in Manhattan, written by Tucker Sparkman and including actors Brandon Gulya, Jenny Bechem, Claire Downs, John Timothy, Veronica Osorio.

Pet Poop Peeved

Just days after residents let their voices be heard about whether or not they believe dogs should be leashed on Southold Town beaches, at least one resident is incensed over a proliferation of poop.

On Saturday, Linda Auriemma, vice president for membership of the New Suffolk Civic Association, said she returned from a "sweep" of the New Suffolk beach with 21 separate deposits of dog poop found in the sand.

Auriemma said she reached out to Southold Town Supervisor Scott Russell in a letter. "Whether it's with or without a leash, we have a major problem allowing dogs on our beach, at least in New Suffolk," she said. "The sad truth is that too many dog owners still have total disregard for the clean-up law, and they obviously care even less about the health and cleanliness of our waters."

Cops: Ex-Con Stole From Dollar Store

An ex-convict and Kings Park resident was arrested on a handful of charges on March 14 after he reportedly stole a bottle of detergent from a Family Dollar store and proceeded to take someone's car to flee police.